Mama’s Boom in Da Room – My Messy Beautiful

©2014 Dancinmoma.com

©2014 Dancinmoma.com

“Those who hear not the music think the dancers mad” – Proverb

Yes, as in crazy or “Cray. Cray,” as the kids call it.

We are all dancers on this earth. We reach ups and downs, we bend over backwards, we turn from one place to the next, lift our arms up, put our heads down, then twist and we turn. We jump. We run, run, run and stop with our arms flailing about… If that’s not a “dance” I don’t know what is.

Of all the “dance shoes” I’ve worn in this life, the mom pair has to be the most exhilarating, most challenging, most “drive you to a place you never knew existed, drive you mad, tug your heart, 24-hour lifetime channel movie, soap opera, overwhelming, and simply JOYful experience” I have ever had.

Whew. Let me breathe for a sec.

Children (and husbands) do have a way of putting the “OY!” in JOY (sigh). You know what. I wouldn’t change ANYTHING. Motherhood may drive you to your wits-end or bring you to your most vulnerable place but it’s an ADVENTURE and I personally happen to love adventures. Motherhood is where you can tap into your inner strength, your inner beauty and things you never knew you existed within you.

I have danced on many stages in my life with audiences of all sizes, but the audience members that mean the most to me, are those tiny little toddler hands that clap and say “yaaaay” or the double-digit, emotion-filled boy (wanting to be on stage next to you), or the handsome teen-sized eyes that look at you, smile and say “sup mom.” That’s MY audience. They may not always applaud feverously, toss roses my way, give 5 star reviews and yell BRAVO… but they are there with hearts full of love and possibility. They need me. They love me, all of me, flaws and all. There’s a popular proverb quote out there that says this…

“If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”

That is my “mantra.” I’m certainly not a psychologist, but I guarantee that even with the most well thought out plan… you will stumble at times. (For me, I stumble more often than not, but again… if you make it part of the dance… DANCE it out sister!) So let’s crank up the music…

Boom. Ba da doom. Ba da doom boom the room. Do you hear it? 🙂

ME: “Baby’s sleeping, try to keep the noise down.” Boys get louder. I calmly repeat “Baby’s sleeping, keep it down please.” Boys get louder. Me (at the top of my lungs) “I SAID. BE QUIET. BABY’S SLEEPING!!!!” (Look who’s shouting now!) Followed by baby cries (because I, yes me, I woke up the little one).

Ahhh, Chicka, Doom, Boom… Music’s still playing.

Toddler in the bath, older child in the shower. All is good. Husband runs to store for milk. Toddler says, “Wook, mama, wook!” (as he holds up an object). Hmmmm how did a “tootsie roll” get in there? WAIT! That’s not a tootsie roll! “Yucky!” I say, as I grab “object” and immediately remove toddler from “toxic area.” Older child is now done with shower and curious. Looks into tub, sees foreign object and proceeds to “toss his cookies.” Really? Really?!! Mom proceeds to put both kids in shower for a soap rinse, dry PJs on, and then cleans mess. Husband comes home, looks at me with my disheveled frizzy, hair and wet clothes and says…

“What the heck happened to YOU?!!!” 🙂

Whata, whata…whaaaaaa…Can you still hear it?

Fast forward to a morning commute to school. Baby is still sleeping. So is Daddy (It’s my turn to drive). Boys are knee deep in the morning routine. “Grab your backpacks! Turn off the lights. Pick up your clothes.” Normal stuff. We head out on our driveway (which snakes down a large hill through some woods by the way). Moments after accelerating, remembering there may have been “freezing rain” in the forecast. Duh. Is school even open? Car catches the frozen rain, veers right, then left, sideways, and completes a 360 at the bottom of driveway, barely missing a tree. My heart is beating. Fast. There’s a short moment of silence followed by loud, cheers from the passengers. “YEAAAAH. Wooohooo! Mom’s got SKILLZ.” Why yes. Yes I do.

And the beat goes on…

So get out there…MOM’s and dddddDANCE! Work the floor, show YOUR audience what you’ve got, hear your own music… and take a BOW baby… YOU deserve it.

 

messy-beautiful-450b

This essay and I are part of the Messy, Beautiful Warrior Project — To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE! And to learn about the New York Times Bestselling Memoir Carry On Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life, just released in paperback, CLICK HERE!

 

Bounce Back!! 6 Ways to Thrive not merely survive.

©2013 Dancinmoma

©2013 Dancinmoma

 

I’m not a psychotherapist — I don’t even play one on TV — but I can comfortably predict that, in your life, whether business, family or personal, there will be not so good days and moments. You can’t avoid them, no matter how hard you try. The successful person, however, trains him or herself to take those dark times learn from them and “Bounce Back!”

We watch children fall down and encourage them to get up, brush themselves off and try again. Why is it so hard for adults to do the same? Have we been knocked down too many times? Are we so weighed down with worries that we can’t get off the ground? How do we change this negative “mindset” and soar to new heights?

This thought occurred to me while watching my kids on the neighborhood trampoline. “Watch, Mom! Watch this!” Their faces beamed as they jumped a little higher each time — the little one kept looking up, probably afraid she was going to hit the sun — and then they flipped over and landed on their feet. Then they directed their attention toward ME: You want a turn, Mom?” After several “not right now” responses, one day…I surprised myself by saying,

Sure. I’ll “Bounce” with you for a little bit.

I tentatively started to bounce in the air with small little jumps, and then soon, I was bending my knees a little more to get just a little higher, when all of a sudden I LAUGHED…OUT… LOUD…This is FUN!! My children were startled but my inner child had taken over. She grabbed onto my consciousness. Briefly I let go of worry and bounced. JUST Bounced!!! Hey! Maybe I can reach the sun. I was no longer hiding behind the curtain of life.

We will all hit hard places or surfaces in life and business, but how we “BOUNCE” back from them will make all the difference. So use the word “BOUNCE” as your reference to remember these key tenants of your thriving life:

Believe in yourself.

Own it. (Own your ideas, good and bad).

Understand (your background, your audience, why things went wrong or right).

Never give up. (Keep Trying).

Courage (Stand up with all the courage you can muster).

Enthusiasm (Use your heart and your childlike wonder to get enthused).

So BOUNCE a ball around, step in the bounce house, bounce on a trampoline and BOUNCE on!!

Are you ready to jump back in the game of life with me?

YOU are capable of rising above, you can DO THIS. Keep BOUNCING!!!

 

15 Definitions from a “DancinMoma.” Are YOU one too?

Are YOU a "DancinMoma?"

Are YOU a “DancinMoma?”

Are you a “DancinMoma?” No, not a trained dancer, but a parent on the move with a child (or two or three) in tow. If you are a “DancinMoma”, or know one who is, you should also know that there is a certain grace these individuals possess and masterful techniques they use to weave through a typical day.

Here are a few “DancinMoma Definitions” to ponder; have YOU experienced any of these?

The Pointless Pivot

Walking into a room with purpose.

Forgetting why you came there.

Pivoting the opposite way.

Remembering why you were heading there in the first place.

Pivoting again.

The Drop, Duck and Roll

The maneuver executed while walking through the living room covered only by a small, post-shower towel and hearing a loud knock on the front door from a delivery person!!

Maneuver is normally followed by a 30 second pause behind the couch, then a cautious peek.

The Trip Walk

Walking purposefully and alone to your destination, passing people and smiling confidently, then tripping, running three steps, and continuing as if you “meant” to do that.

The Tippy Toe Toy Hop

Inadvertently stepping on a Lego® creation or small toy.

Ow! Jumping! Hopping up and down holding your toe.

Happy S”hour”er

Extremely rare, uninterrupted time in your shower that feels like a frozen drink by a beach.

The Split Side

Stepping a flat, slippery object such as a magazine (Left by your spouse, no doubt). Then, while struggling to regain your balance, splaying the legs into an unconventional split you did not know you could still do.

Laser Spy Mission

Arriving from point A to point B in a playroom without hitting a toy.

The Baby Sway Stray

That side-to-side motion used to rock your baby that you do it even without your baby.

The Hip Dip

Closing doors or drawers with your hip while carrying a child in one arm, bags in the other, and cradling a phone in one ear. (Caution: only trained ‘DancinMomas’ should attempt this.)

Mac and Cheese Mambo

Stirring (and 1, 2) providing direction, repeating that direction (and 3, 4) without “boiling over.”

The Dip & Dunk:

Bending over to pick up item on floor and shoot a basket across room into the appropriate container or basket…. Score!

The Shuffle Shovel

Holding items in arms while maneuvering your foot to collect and slide things scattered on floor into a neat pile.

Cha Cha Chew Chew

The amount of time (1,2) allowed to eat your dinner — cha-cha chew chew chew — after everyone is taken care of.

The Splam

That moment when you walk away from a conversation only to run into a door or side stage wall… Splat is what it is normally called. If your name is Pam, however, like me…. the “Splam.”

Five Minute Flail Fail

The 5-minute warning that evolves into 15 to 30, or more, as you motion to

your child with flailing arms that it’s “time to go!”

Please Define YOUR “DancinMoma” moments below and add to the list!

Happy DANCING!